Do Young's Diaries
by kellentia
Summary: Chronicles the emotional anguish Do Young goes through as he plots his father's demise for the sake of justice and the girl he loves, while knowing he can never be with her as he is the son of her fathers' murderer
1. Entry 1

Dear Diary

I was at Uncle Han Joo's funeral today. It broke my heart, to see Baek Won so devastated. And that family, if only my some sort of a funny put together family had a quarter of the warmth and close knittedness they have...How I long to have a family, and be with people I love, laughing all day long. My mother laughed alot. Even though my father abandoned her, she still could joke with me, grandma and bring light into what was such a deep dark world. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think or miss her. I must never let Baek Won suffer the same fate as my mother. I will never abandon her.

Though, it seems like something fishy is going on with my father. He acted weirdly today. Things are not adding up. I need to find out more. It looks like he was somewhat involved in Uncle Han Joo's death...I wouldn't put it pass him. Though I shudder to even think it to be true. How will I ever face Baek Won if that turns out to be the case? Please, oh please let it be not.

Do Young


	2. Entry 2

Dear Diary

My father didn't do it! He said he didn't do it! I checked his stories and alibis and it all checks out. I even questioned him and he coolly explained to me what happened. So stepmom was having an affair. What a relief! I was so happy to finally see Baek Won again and be with her, to simply walk beside her, look at her, hug her. I wouldn't even mind if she had beated me. I did got MIA for a couple of days...I was so scared my father was her father's murderer...I couldn't get distracted in my investigation.

Though...there is still something up with my father...something I cannot place my finger on...

Do Young


	3. Entry 3

Dear Diary

I am not surprised. I should have seen this coming sooner, in fact. Everything is starting to make sense now. Father, why must you do this? Why must you make my life so miserable? Just for your selfish ambition? I don't care for any of that. I can understand your suffering, but to think about it, you created it yourself. You created your own miserable life. And now, I will have to pay for your sins. I can't be with Baek Won anymore. How can I be with her when I can't even look her in the eye, let alone ask for her forgiveness. I know her too well. She is so big hearted and she loves me, she will forgive me for being the son of her father and foster father's murderer. But I can't be forgiven. I need to pay for my father's sins. The only thing stopping me from going mental is that I must protect Baek Won at all costs. Knowing she's my step cousin, the real He Bin, was the final straw. I know my father too well. He is going to get rid of her. I must stop him. But yet, he is my birth father. No matter what he did, he is still my father. What do I do now? God, what do I do? There is only one path left to take. I have no more future, no more happiness...they have been suddenly evaporated into smoke, all because of you, father. And my dearest Baek Won, I am so sorry, So so sorry...

Do Young


	4. Entry 4

Dear Diary

This is driving me crazy; handling my father's schemes, plotting with Chun Won, protecting Baek Won. If I can only give thanks for one thing is that I have inherited my father's inteligent genes.

But yet, for her safety, I must break her heart again, and my own. I don't care what happens to me, but I hate myself for having to hurt her. Why must she be the real He Bin. Things would be much simpler if she wasn't...but maybe not. My father would never have approved of my marriage to her, and she would never abandon her family to elope with me. What an ill fated love. Is this the only way? I'm questioning and wavering now. God, give me strength for the pain that will come, that is already creeping in. I need to just keep my goal ahead and endure the rest. Once Baek Won's rightful heritage is restored, all will be over.

Do Young


	5. Entry 5

Dear Diary

The weight of this is bearing too heavily on me. I have made choices that I have hated, that have caused so much hurt and pain. I cannot take it anymore. I thought I could, but I cannot bear the idea of Baek Won hating me. It's too much of a burden to bear. And my father is closing in. He does not trust easily. Chun Won is also not easy to handle. This is taking all of my strength to face all these formidable enemies, and I'm tired. So tired. I miss those carefree days where our pasts did not loom over us, and it was just me and Baek Won. I hate doing all the things my father is asking me to do. I hate having to put up a mask when my heart is drowning in sorrow. The only place where I can bear my soul is here, and I'm clutching onto this like a lifeline. I need to be strong, for Baek Won, and keep her safe.

DY


	6. Entry 6

Dear Diary

I did it. I couldn't take it anymore. I finally told Baek Won the truth. I don't know what to feel. I am elated that I have been vindicated in her eyes, and now she knows how much I love her, but it doesn't change anything. We are still fighting on opposing sides for now. How I long to bring her for a date, to tease her, see her squirm in embarrassment, laugh shyly, or bang my head in anger. This is emotional torture! How is it that I can love a woman such as Baek Won so much, even I myself don't understand it. And she loves me back. Our lives are too much of a tragedy to bear...thanks to my father.

But, there is one good news. Young Won has been found! He came back! My old kid buddy from school, who was like my younger brother. He is as intelligent as me, I'll bet, perhaps more. I am so glad for Baek Won and her family. I wish I could be part of their family, but I know it is impossible. I must keep focusing on my goal, and whatever misery I face is deserved.

DY


	7. Entry 7

Dear Diary

The plan is slowly falling into place. I have my father and Chun Won right where they should be, as with the other allies my father has made. I think I can do this. It is almost finished. I just need to hang in there a little while more.

Yet...what am I doing? For Baek Won? For justice? I am probably the worst possible son ever alive, to want to send his father to jail for all the crimes he has committed. Perhaps other sons would team up and help cover up, or even join in. But I can't. I hate this family he married into. I can't forget the sorrow I always saw in my mother's twinkling eyes. And this family is so cold, I don't even want their company. I am a prosecutor, I enjoy my current job much better than being head of a conglomerate. My father says he wants to give all these to me. Ha. Really? Can I believe him? I don't want any of it. I hate what money does to people. It belongs to Baek Won anyhow, rightfully. She is the rightful heir, not me, not my father. And she will do such a wonderful job! She won't be evil and look only at profit, but will use the money to help people. That's right. That's why I fell in love so deeply with her in the first place. I love her heart.

My father says he will do all the dirty work, to keep my hands clean. I guess my father does love me, in his own way. And he is my father, no matter how much wrong or how much he has hurt me in the past. He is the one who gave me life. I can't be so unfilial. I will need to atone for my sins...both his and mine...so I will go to jail with him. That's the best I can do for my father; to be with him when he is at his lowest, for I am the one that brought him to this point.

There has never been any other way, I guess. My life has always been heading towards jail, since my father began his schemes. So I have given my all; I have nothing left to loose. I know Baek Won still loves me, but dare I ask her to wait for me? If I did she would, but that would be too selfish of me. Yet, my life is nothing without Baek Won - I might as well be dead. She is the one keeping my sanity. She and my mother.

Baek Won, I love you. It would all be over soon. I can never understand how you would love me; son of a monster, an unfilial brat, ostracised by others...but I am thankful. Always remember, I love you.

DY


	8. Entry 8

Dear Diary

I never knew it would take 2 years for my next entry to take place. Things turned out quite unexpectedly so this might be a long entry.

My father went too far. He kidnapped Baek Won just when I was going to marry her. That sealed the deal. He unleashed the screw that held me in check. I knew I could never look Baek Won in the face again after all my father's misdeeds. I just need to save her, ensure sufficient evidence is collected for my father to go to prison, and I will die. I want to die. There is no point going to jail with my father anymore. He betrayed my trust totally. It was endgame for both me and him. And I did it, using my life. I shot myself in the head, and never expected to survive.

Yet survive I did. I don't know how. Perhaps I just couldn't let go of Baek Won, especially after hearing her pleas of not leaving her alone. How could I have been so selfish? I wasn't thinking straight. I was just thinking of myself, my own feelings, when I should have been considering hers. The doctors said the bullet struck my head at an angle that damaged the areas which affected my movement. So for 2 years I haven't been able to get out of bed or move much, until last week. Again I have made myself into a burden to her.

The recovery process was really trying though. Emotionally, I was too ashamed to meet Baek Won and refused to see her for weeks. She withdrew all the charges against embezzlement. But she is indeed one persistent woman. Even her mother came to see and talk to me, as I lay in bed, totally listless and withdrawn. I didn't see the point in living anymore. Chun Won also came to encourage me, surprisingly, and said Baek Won forgave even her. My dear silly soft hearted Baek Won.

It finally took a firm scolding from her mom that gave me a wake up call. She told me not to dwell on the past anymore, and I am not my father. Baek Won doesn't hold it against me, and neither does she. She told me that me pushing Baek Won away is hurting her far more, because the stubborn girl said she will wait even if it takes more than 14 years.

What else could I do?

DY


End file.
